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Thursday, November 10, 2011

How Do I marry a Rich guy?

A young 'n pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
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Title: What Should I do to Marry A Rich Guy?
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I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm
very pretty, have style 'n good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k
annual salary or above.
You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered
only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an
income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income,'n it seems
that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of
New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names 'n
addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a
few girls who don't have looks 'n are not interesting, but they are able to
marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, 'n who can only be your
girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
A Philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls
out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to
analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement,
so I hope
everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry
you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty"
'n "money" : Person A provides beauty,'n Person B pays for it, fair 'n
square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my
money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income
might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after
year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, 'n
you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but
exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much
worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating
with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it 'n it is not a good idea to keep it
for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might
be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with
great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date
you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any
clues to marry a rich guy. 'n by the way, you could make yourself to
become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance
than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do
contact me.
signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO...

Team Insomnia

Its 3:16am, No bbm updates, no missed calls and No messages. Its one of my half sleep days, I go to sleep early so I can go to work and I end up waking once I've slept for 5 hours. 70% of Nigerian youths are victims of insomnia just like me, I used to stay up for two days straight without blinking. This is probably the cause of my sleepless nights. My body can't adjust to sleep. Work stress should also be a part of the problem.
I'm also still wondering where everyone is, because with all the social networks am registered to, I can't believe everyone is asleep. Maybe there's a downtime somewhere sha. Just wanted to write something because its been long I posted stuff. Maybe I'll feel better and sleep off. Good night/morning.